Trader Joe's: a real American hero

Red-Blooded American Female loves her some Trader Joe's.

I'm not sure how Trader Joe's does it, but they consistently have had the yummiest products over the years. My parents took me, my brother, and my sister to TJ's when we were kids, and if Dad was in a good mood he'd let us each pick out one special item we could have (which, to a 5 year old, is a pretty cool treat and seems like a huuuge decision). Of course, he'd invariably reject our selection when one of us tried to pick the 5-pound brick of chocolate, and he'd spend most of the trip trying to persuade one of us to get a nice aged cheddar cheese, one of us to get crackers, and one of us to get hard salami. I almost always chose Apple Newtons, which were a lot like Fig Newtons only a tastier TJ's version and made with apples instead of figs. I've searched TJ's for years and sadly, I think they were discontinued long ago and have yet to be resurrected.

Now that I'm an adult, I can afford to pick out whatever I want at TJ's every time I go. And of course every time I go, something (or several somethings...) end up in my cart that weren't on my shopping list. After years of impulse and planned shopping, I think I've finally settled on my top five Trader Joe's specialties. It was a hard list to make, and several long-time favorites didn't quite make the cut (such as my beloved cherry preserves and dried apple rings), but if I had to stock up my house in preparation for nuclear war, these are what I'd choose:

5) Joe-Joe's

A lot like Oreo's, but since they come from a "more natural" place like Trader Joe's, they make you feel vaguely less guilty about eating an entire sleeve at once. I like both the standard chocolate/vanilla and the more decadent chocolate/chocolate version. Not as crazy about the candy cane ones they sell around Christmastime, though those will definitely do in a pinch when I'm craving something sweet.

4) Big & Chunky Applesauce

An item I - shockingly and tragically - never tried until recently, this will change how you look at the world of applesauce. You will never touch Mott's again after this. Big chunks of apples swimming around in smooth, not-too-sweet sauce. It's like eating apple pie filling but without the guilt: each serving only has 80 calories, and even if you eat the whole jar (Red-Blooded American Females have been known to binge eat while watching "Real Housewives" or "House Hunters: International" marathons on TV occasionally...), you'll only end up consuming 480 calories, which is less than that sleeve of Joe Joe's.

3) Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels

A snack staple in our household, these are the ultimate sweet and salty combination in one neat bite-sized nugget of deliciousness. I've been eating these since I was a kid. My future children had better not have any peanut allergies, because there is no way Hubby and I are giving these up.

2) Pesto Pizza

Because sometimes you just want pizza for dinner. And this one is both darn good and has enough sort-of healthy stuff on it (broccoli, tomatoes) to make you feel like you're actually not just eating a waste of calories.  You'll definitely not regret choosing this one over Pizza Hut, Dominoes, or Little Caesar's.  

1) Gnocchi al Gorgonzola

That's gorgonzola gnocchi for you non-Italians. And it's rich, creamy carb-loaded goodness for all of us.  It's the perfect solution for those nights when Red-Blooded American Female (or Hubby) just doesn't feel like cooking. Toss these little frozen gems into a skillet and less than 10 minutes later you have a warm bowl-full of the ultimate comfort food. The Gnocchi alla Sorrentina is a good alternate choice for any of you lactose intolerant types.