Troutman Sanders 10k review

In an effort to try to knock off some of those holiday season lbs that seem to cling to my midsection every year around this time, I ran the Troutman Sanders Renegade Santa 10k last weekend. I had run it last year, when it reeked less of corporate America and was called the "Make Room for Santa 10k," and thought it might be nice to try to beat my time from a year ago.

As an aside: I hate 10ks - always have, always will. They're the hardest race out there, if you ask me. Yeah, you're not running as fast as a 5k, but a 5k is over in a little over 20 minutes (someday, it will be over in 19 minutes and 59 seconds for me...someday...). Yeah, it's not as long as a half-marathon and is really only a warm-up run compared to a marathon, but you're not running nearly as fast in a half or full marathon. You never hit the red line the way you do in a 5k or 10k. And certainly not for 40+ minutes. No, a 10k is probably the worst race out there. You're running at a really uncomfortable pace for just long enough that when you finally hit the finish line, you're not sure which will collapse first: your legs or your lungs. I dread 10ks and very rarely include them in my - admittedly meager - race docket.

The Santa 10k sounds awesome on paper. Cost isn't too bad: $25 for early registration, $35 for procrastinators like me. (A better deal than, say, Nike's scam of charging you $40 to run a 10k ON YOUR OWN...!!!!) The course is about as flat as they come, and it's all run on either paved or dirt bike trail with no cars around. And the organizers make it festive and give prizes for best Santa costume, etc.

I enjoyed this race when I first ran it in December 2011. The problem is: so did everybody else. And they told their friends. The race was probably at least double the size it was last year. I think I heard them say 1400 people this year, compared to 600 last year.

Overall, it's an enjoyable race and not a surprise why it's so popular. The organizers make themselves visible, everyone is really nice and in the holiday spirit, and they actually have a pretty decent amount of vendors on hand with cool giveaways. Oh, and I LOVE the Santa's finisher medal / ornament. Those hang on my Christmas tree; smart marketing idea :) And a BJ's gift card to age group winners is really nice; thank you!

However, there are some things they really need to work on for next year, or they'll go on Santa's Naughty list (sorry, couldn't resist...):

- PLEASE start the 5k race half an hour before the 10k. A significant portion of the 5k racers are just out there for a fun walk or easy jog -- which is fine except that means they are clogging up the narrow bike trail for miles 4-6 while faster 10k runners are trying to race. We were dodging strollers, people walking 3 abreast, and little kids during the second half of the race, which is not only highly annoying but also highly tiring and potentially dangerous. Starting the 5k 30 minutes prior would get the majority of 5k participants off the course before the 10k racers would catch them. And since the race is held in December, considering how cold it was at the start, I don't think too many people will be complaining about a later race start.

- PLEASE allow additional entry in the start corrals. If you are running a 7 minute pace, for instance, you have to walk all the way down to the end and then try to fight your way through a mass of slower runners to get up to the front. It would be really helpful to just have a few more access points on the sides to let people get in and out more easily.

- For the love of God, turn down the volume on the speakers or move them farther away from the start line. Once you get into the start corral area, as I mentioned above, you pretty much can't get out because there aren't any access points on the side, and you're trapped standing next to speakers blaring the announcer's voice at deafening volumes. I think my eardrums were pretty close to bleeding, it was so loud.

- Any chance we could get either a long-sleeved shirt like in 2011 or a technical shirt if short-sleeved? I have more short-sleeved cotton shirts than I know what to do with. 2011's long-sleever is still one of my favorites.

- Please have water bottles available at the end, instead of small cups with a sip of water in them. I just ran 6 miles hard; it'd be nice to only have to walk over to the water booth once instead of having to keep going back just to quench my thirst. It would also save on the number of volunteers needed to man the water booth.

- The awards ceremony was by far the longest I've ever been to. I think it took at least 45 minutes to get through the 5k awards. Then there was the costume contest. And then finally the 10k awards. I wasn't the only 10k participant asking if there was any chance I could just pick up my award at the table instead of having to stick around and wait for my age group. I'm not sure why it took so long, but it was pretty painful....

Complaints aside, it's an enjoyable race. I ran a personal best time in the 10k and had a good time doing it. See you guys next year - hopefully half an hour later...

Open Letter to the Vampire Diaries Writers

Dear  Writers of The Vampire Diaries,

I know chances are next to nothing that you'll ever read this, but on behalf of all viewers, I wanted to beg you to please give us less Elena angsty martyrdom scenes and much more Klaus badassery like this week's "O Come All Ye Faithful" episode. HOLY EFFING KLAUS!!!! In between the snoozefest of Jeremy therapy sessions -- though it was nice to hear someone finally say something negative about Elena -- and the tedium of Elena's seemingly endless "do-I-really-love-him-or-is-it-just-a-sire-bond" conversations with Damon were sandwiched the BEST scenes TVD has had, ever. 

Namely, all of the Klaus scenes. He is by far the most interesting character on the show and one of the most interesting on TV. I could have watched an entire hour of him kicking major hybrid ass, painting post-modern snowflakes, flirting with Caroline, eloquently articulating the loneliness of immortality to Stefan, or killing Mrs. Lockwood in a beautifully tragic scene.

Also, please let Caroline continue to realize Tyler is a giant alpha-wannabe douchehole and that she really loves Klaus. This week;s episode was a step in the right direction when she first admitted to feeling bad about plotting to bring him down, and an even bigger positive step when she and Stefan realized the Mystic Falls gang ain't exactly a bunch of saints, either.

And more Jeremy chopping wood scenes, please. 

Thanks.

Kind Regards,

Red-Blooded American Females everywhere

PS. Please give Joseph Morgan a raise. I normally take this show for the cheesy soapfest that it is and don't get too emotionally involved other than to laugh at its ridiculousness, but I actually wanted to cry over the expression on Klaus' face after he killed his hybrids. REALLY well acted.

My Brother's Keeper winners and losers: S*** gets real on The Vampire Diaries

Yes, I am 32 years old and religiously watch The Vampire Diaries, a show on The CW aimed at girls about half my age. And I think any red-blooded American female who has seen the male cast of TVD can understand why. It's essentially a soap opera featuring a ton of ridiculously good-looking actors with some action and mythology thrown in occasionally to keep  moving the plot forward, and I EFFING LOVE IT! It's best watched with a glass of wine (hell, who am I kidding - a bottle of wine...) while clad in pajamas with any male significant others in the household safely in another room or, preferably, not home at all. 

Last week's episode might just be the best yet. I am an unabashed fan of the villain, Klaus, who is played by probably the only talented actor on the show, Joseph Morgan (I believe his legions of 14 year old fans refer to him as "JoMo"). I probably would be a fan of Klaus no matter who played him because he's an Original Vampire, which automatically makes him about 8,000,000,000 times more interesting than the other 17 year old teen angst vampires and humans on the show. He often has some of the best lines on the show and is basically a BAMF yet with a more complex softer side that the show keeps gradually fleshing out. However, it certainly does not hurt that someone this gorgeous with an unbelievably sexy British accent (complete with a hint of a lisp that just adds to the charm) plays Klaus:

So, as a ginormous Klaus fan, I have to say I was pretty ecstatic about last week's Vampire Diaries, 4x07, My Brother's Keeper. Since there are close to an infinite number of recaps, synopses, and pithy summaries out there that are far better than a JoMo-phile like myself can ever hope to achieve here, I'm going to skip summarizing, and - pretty much solely for my own cathartic benefit - highlight the winners and losers in 11/29's episode.

The WINNERS:
1) Bonnie. She was nowhere to be found, which means I didn't have to waste any time hating her. Off-screen Bonnie is a good Bonnie.

2) Klaus' dimples. They were in abundance and melting hearts across America. Effing. Klaus. GIGGLING!!!!! IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT, YOU GUYS!

3) Klaroline (for those of us over age 25, that means Klaus + Caroline in a relationship). This is closely related to Klaus' dimples, and almost as cute. I could have watched an entire hour of these two. I was expecting their date to be full of Caroline rejecting him but the two of them had adorable banter and what seemed to be a genuinely good time. I was a little disappointed that we were teased with this promo pic of them almost kissing but sadly it was nowhere to be found in this episode:

4) Klaus. Along with #2 and #3 above, this guy had a pretty fantastic episode. We got to see all sides of him: threatening, murderous Klaus when he surprises Stefan in the woods; shy, puppy-dog eyes Klaus when asking Caroline out; classy, gentleman Klaus when he gently tells Caroline she's making a scene and when he brings a bottle of champagne and two glasses and when he seems genuinely sad for Caroline when Tyler and Slutbag show up at the pageant together; fun Klaus when he teases her about her MMF application; and profound, poetic 1,000 year old Klaus when he tells the hummingbird story. I love me some JoMo and he didn't disappoint this episode.

5) Jeremy. He finally went from being that annoying kid brother to being a somewhat interesting character. Now if only he'd kill Elena

The LOSERS:
1) The wrinkle between Paul Wesley's eyes. I don't think we saw him with anything other than deeply furrowed eyebrows and you know that isn't going to make for a smooth forehead in the future. Homeboy needs some Botox, stat.

2) Delena fans. The scene where Elena tells Damon she broke up with Stefan because of him was awesome(!) but the sex scene was ruined by Caroline blabbing about the sire bond. If the writers pull that kind of crap on any future Klaroline scenes, I WILL show up at Julie Plec's house with a pitchfork and a strongly worded letter.

3) Matt. Poor guy had to hang out with April for most of the episode.

4) Prof Shane. All this hanging out with teenagers and plying them with underage alcoholic beverages really just makes him seem like some sort of pedophile.

5) Caroline's dress:

Normally the girl looks fantastic, but someone lied to her about that dress. It looked drab and ill-fitting, especially next to the gorgeous dress Elena wore. Oh, and I'm not sure why the reigning Miss Mystic Falls, who curls her hair in EVERY episode, decided to go straight and boring with her hairdo this time around, especially when she knew a hottie like Klaus would be her date...

Trader Joe's: a real American hero

Red-Blooded American Female loves her some Trader Joe's.

I'm not sure how Trader Joe's does it, but they consistently have had the yummiest products over the years. My parents took me, my brother, and my sister to TJ's when we were kids, and if Dad was in a good mood he'd let us each pick out one special item we could have (which, to a 5 year old, is a pretty cool treat and seems like a huuuge decision). Of course, he'd invariably reject our selection when one of us tried to pick the 5-pound brick of chocolate, and he'd spend most of the trip trying to persuade one of us to get a nice aged cheddar cheese, one of us to get crackers, and one of us to get hard salami. I almost always chose Apple Newtons, which were a lot like Fig Newtons only a tastier TJ's version and made with apples instead of figs. I've searched TJ's for years and sadly, I think they were discontinued long ago and have yet to be resurrected.

Now that I'm an adult, I can afford to pick out whatever I want at TJ's every time I go. And of course every time I go, something (or several somethings...) end up in my cart that weren't on my shopping list. After years of impulse and planned shopping, I think I've finally settled on my top five Trader Joe's specialties. It was a hard list to make, and several long-time favorites didn't quite make the cut (such as my beloved cherry preserves and dried apple rings), but if I had to stock up my house in preparation for nuclear war, these are what I'd choose:

5) Joe-Joe's

A lot like Oreo's, but since they come from a "more natural" place like Trader Joe's, they make you feel vaguely less guilty about eating an entire sleeve at once. I like both the standard chocolate/vanilla and the more decadent chocolate/chocolate version. Not as crazy about the candy cane ones they sell around Christmastime, though those will definitely do in a pinch when I'm craving something sweet.

4) Big & Chunky Applesauce

An item I - shockingly and tragically - never tried until recently, this will change how you look at the world of applesauce. You will never touch Mott's again after this. Big chunks of apples swimming around in smooth, not-too-sweet sauce. It's like eating apple pie filling but without the guilt: each serving only has 80 calories, and even if you eat the whole jar (Red-Blooded American Females have been known to binge eat while watching "Real Housewives" or "House Hunters: International" marathons on TV occasionally...), you'll only end up consuming 480 calories, which is less than that sleeve of Joe Joe's.

3) Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels

A snack staple in our household, these are the ultimate sweet and salty combination in one neat bite-sized nugget of deliciousness. I've been eating these since I was a kid. My future children had better not have any peanut allergies, because there is no way Hubby and I are giving these up.

2) Pesto Pizza

Because sometimes you just want pizza for dinner. And this one is both darn good and has enough sort-of healthy stuff on it (broccoli, tomatoes) to make you feel like you're actually not just eating a waste of calories.  You'll definitely not regret choosing this one over Pizza Hut, Dominoes, or Little Caesar's.  

1) Gnocchi al Gorgonzola

That's gorgonzola gnocchi for you non-Italians. And it's rich, creamy carb-loaded goodness for all of us.  It's the perfect solution for those nights when Red-Blooded American Female (or Hubby) just doesn't feel like cooking. Toss these little frozen gems into a skillet and less than 10 minutes later you have a warm bowl-full of the ultimate comfort food. The Gnocchi alla Sorrentina is a good alternate choice for any of you lactose intolerant types.

Hey, NBC: more Ryan Lochte (even when his events aren't on), less skinny chicks running for 2 hours

The hubby and I were over at a friend's house last weekend to do what any Red-Blooded American Female does during early August of years divisible by four: watch the Olympics, ogle the hot athletic men, and drink too much wine. Since hubby and I are among those Weird People Who Don't Have Cable TV, last Sunday was the first day of live Olympics coverage we had seen since 2008, and we took it in greedily, perhaps at the expense of being social and making conversation with our friends (but that's another story).

That afternoon's coverage happened to be the women's marathon. Now, I consider myself a runner (albeit a much slower, more awkward-looking one than the 80-lb women featured on Sunday's marathon broadcast). I run 4-5 times a week, have five marathons under my belt, and could happily debate someone on trail running vs street running for hours on end. I'm more knowledgeable and more interested in long-distance running than your average Joe. And yet, even I had to marvel at NBC's decision to broadcast the women's marathon IN ITS ENTIRETY last Sunday.

Having run five marathons myself, I am well aware that the event is far from riveting television viewing. These women do nothing but run -- seemingly effortlessly -- for over two hours straight. Occasionally a runner will take a swig from a water bottle, and that's the most action you'll see for 10 minutes at a time. Otherwise, there's nothing but two straight hours of watching wafer-thin women run on and on and on. These women are such amazing runners that they show almost no expression on their laser-focused faces and make even less superfluous motion with their robot-like bodies.

Even to those of us who have shuffled through a marathon and have some idea of just how fast these women are and how incredibly amazing what they do is, watching the full marathon on TV is about as exciting as watching the Weather Channel for 2 straight hours (maybe even less exciting, depending on what the weather is like that day). Marathons do not transfer well to television. The crowd excitement, the perseverance and determination of the athletes, the mind-blowing sustained speed at which their feet are pounding the pavement for 26.2 miles -- none of it is really felt or appreciated on TV.  It's far less glamorous than the 200m sprinting events that are over in 25 seconds. Instead, the marathon just looks like a bunch of anorexic chicks out for a jog for a couple of hours.

Which is why I'm at a loss to understand why NBC felt compelled to show the entire marathon on its Olympics coverage on Sunday. I could understand periodic updates of the event, maybe where they show 2-3 minutes at a time occasionally (maybe the start, finish, any changes in leadership, and anyone dropping out from injury) in between other events. But over two full hours of marathon coverage? I'm left scratching my wine-addled head.

Perhaps there were no other scheduled events at that time for NBC to show. The simple solution to that is to intersperse interviews with Ryan Lochte (shirtless, preferably) and feature stories on other similarly attractive athletes with the marathon coverage.  I guarantee not one single Red-Blooded American Woman would turn off the marathon coverage if it meant she would be rewarded with Olympic eye-candy every few minutes.