Open Letter to the Vampire Diaries Writers

Dear  Writers of The Vampire Diaries,

I know chances are next to nothing that you'll ever read this, but on behalf of all viewers, I wanted to beg you to please give us less Elena angsty martyrdom scenes and much more Klaus badassery like this week's "O Come All Ye Faithful" episode. HOLY EFFING KLAUS!!!! In between the snoozefest of Jeremy therapy sessions -- though it was nice to hear someone finally say something negative about Elena -- and the tedium of Elena's seemingly endless "do-I-really-love-him-or-is-it-just-a-sire-bond" conversations with Damon were sandwiched the BEST scenes TVD has had, ever. 

Namely, all of the Klaus scenes. He is by far the most interesting character on the show and one of the most interesting on TV. I could have watched an entire hour of him kicking major hybrid ass, painting post-modern snowflakes, flirting with Caroline, eloquently articulating the loneliness of immortality to Stefan, or killing Mrs. Lockwood in a beautifully tragic scene.

Also, please let Caroline continue to realize Tyler is a giant alpha-wannabe douchehole and that she really loves Klaus. This week;s episode was a step in the right direction when she first admitted to feeling bad about plotting to bring him down, and an even bigger positive step when she and Stefan realized the Mystic Falls gang ain't exactly a bunch of saints, either.

And more Jeremy chopping wood scenes, please. 

Thanks.

Kind Regards,

Red-Blooded American Females everywhere

PS. Please give Joseph Morgan a raise. I normally take this show for the cheesy soapfest that it is and don't get too emotionally involved other than to laugh at its ridiculousness, but I actually wanted to cry over the expression on Klaus' face after he killed his hybrids. REALLY well acted.

My Brother's Keeper winners and losers: S*** gets real on The Vampire Diaries

Yes, I am 32 years old and religiously watch The Vampire Diaries, a show on The CW aimed at girls about half my age. And I think any red-blooded American female who has seen the male cast of TVD can understand why. It's essentially a soap opera featuring a ton of ridiculously good-looking actors with some action and mythology thrown in occasionally to keep  moving the plot forward, and I EFFING LOVE IT! It's best watched with a glass of wine (hell, who am I kidding - a bottle of wine...) while clad in pajamas with any male significant others in the household safely in another room or, preferably, not home at all. 

Last week's episode might just be the best yet. I am an unabashed fan of the villain, Klaus, who is played by probably the only talented actor on the show, Joseph Morgan (I believe his legions of 14 year old fans refer to him as "JoMo"). I probably would be a fan of Klaus no matter who played him because he's an Original Vampire, which automatically makes him about 8,000,000,000 times more interesting than the other 17 year old teen angst vampires and humans on the show. He often has some of the best lines on the show and is basically a BAMF yet with a more complex softer side that the show keeps gradually fleshing out. However, it certainly does not hurt that someone this gorgeous with an unbelievably sexy British accent (complete with a hint of a lisp that just adds to the charm) plays Klaus:

So, as a ginormous Klaus fan, I have to say I was pretty ecstatic about last week's Vampire Diaries, 4x07, My Brother's Keeper. Since there are close to an infinite number of recaps, synopses, and pithy summaries out there that are far better than a JoMo-phile like myself can ever hope to achieve here, I'm going to skip summarizing, and - pretty much solely for my own cathartic benefit - highlight the winners and losers in 11/29's episode.

The WINNERS:
1) Bonnie. She was nowhere to be found, which means I didn't have to waste any time hating her. Off-screen Bonnie is a good Bonnie.

2) Klaus' dimples. They were in abundance and melting hearts across America. Effing. Klaus. GIGGLING!!!!! IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT, YOU GUYS!

3) Klaroline (for those of us over age 25, that means Klaus + Caroline in a relationship). This is closely related to Klaus' dimples, and almost as cute. I could have watched an entire hour of these two. I was expecting their date to be full of Caroline rejecting him but the two of them had adorable banter and what seemed to be a genuinely good time. I was a little disappointed that we were teased with this promo pic of them almost kissing but sadly it was nowhere to be found in this episode:

4) Klaus. Along with #2 and #3 above, this guy had a pretty fantastic episode. We got to see all sides of him: threatening, murderous Klaus when he surprises Stefan in the woods; shy, puppy-dog eyes Klaus when asking Caroline out; classy, gentleman Klaus when he gently tells Caroline she's making a scene and when he brings a bottle of champagne and two glasses and when he seems genuinely sad for Caroline when Tyler and Slutbag show up at the pageant together; fun Klaus when he teases her about her MMF application; and profound, poetic 1,000 year old Klaus when he tells the hummingbird story. I love me some JoMo and he didn't disappoint this episode.

5) Jeremy. He finally went from being that annoying kid brother to being a somewhat interesting character. Now if only he'd kill Elena

The LOSERS:
1) The wrinkle between Paul Wesley's eyes. I don't think we saw him with anything other than deeply furrowed eyebrows and you know that isn't going to make for a smooth forehead in the future. Homeboy needs some Botox, stat.

2) Delena fans. The scene where Elena tells Damon she broke up with Stefan because of him was awesome(!) but the sex scene was ruined by Caroline blabbing about the sire bond. If the writers pull that kind of crap on any future Klaroline scenes, I WILL show up at Julie Plec's house with a pitchfork and a strongly worded letter.

3) Matt. Poor guy had to hang out with April for most of the episode.

4) Prof Shane. All this hanging out with teenagers and plying them with underage alcoholic beverages really just makes him seem like some sort of pedophile.

5) Caroline's dress:

Normally the girl looks fantastic, but someone lied to her about that dress. It looked drab and ill-fitting, especially next to the gorgeous dress Elena wore. Oh, and I'm not sure why the reigning Miss Mystic Falls, who curls her hair in EVERY episode, decided to go straight and boring with her hairdo this time around, especially when she knew a hottie like Klaus would be her date...